So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My brain says no but my pants say off.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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