Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
