I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
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he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
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This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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