party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
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