no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
