Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
This toilet bowl is my home.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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