thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
