what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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