Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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