sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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