I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
