Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
