So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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