I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
