But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
