youre lurking in front of me
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
