david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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