You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
