Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
