Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize