Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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