The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
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