Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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