she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
