everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
