I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
