Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
