I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
