Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Who did Billy Mays play for?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
