i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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