I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
