Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
