Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
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