He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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