just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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