i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
