dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
