i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
