There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Randomize
