Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Randomize
