I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
