Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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