I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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