dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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