he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
