My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
try to milk me bitch
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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