i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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