The maid of honor just puked.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Randomize