walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
