you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
