But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
