I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night