I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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