I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Sext me about skeletons
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
