i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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