she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize