haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
